You don’t think about “seeing the positive side” or “reaching out for help”, when the thought of slitting your wrist comes in mind. The feeling makes you want to drown in your own blood and just lose your own breath. No longer does it matter that how many people love or care about you, because all you can think of doing is to find a way to escape all these problems, which at that moment feels to free your soul.
Your own hands, which decorated the beautiful card for your mother when you were a kid in nursery, reach the beautiful neck, where hungs the necklace your mom once bought which gave you the happiness of the entire world. The grip tightens as those acid like tears run down the cheeks, which used to turn cherry red with anger when a crayon used to break into two. The memories of your worst experiences flash in your head and you feel the sharp pain in your heart, which seems unbearable. Your head hurts as if it have been banged by a hammer and your shoulders start to detach from your own body. Your legs feel weak, so weak that you no longer have the strength to stand tall. Your back gives no support then, all the strength which made you stand tall when you were awarded for something which made you feel like the best amongst all, is lost.
The grip tightens around your neck, you wanna scream out but you bite your tongue. The lungs beg for air to breathe, your body tells you to save yourself, but you do not have the strength to struggle for life. Ending your life seems more pleasing, because at least then it won’t hurt as much as it does now. You keep on holding your neck, squeezing it harder. Your vision starts to blur, the world seems to fade away, the pain in your heart feels nothing, you feel nothing and then you collapse on the floor, wishing to never wake up again.
Because in the real world, when you close your eyes, forever, the nightmare vanishes away and then you feel no threat, no pain, and finally, nothing at all.
-Khushi aka herfinesmile